It's been a long time since I've said anyting here...  I mostly read and think about what my responce would be to entries that I am touched by in some way.  Mostly, I come here while I'm at work and this is what prevents me from posting much (i swear they always watch what y ou're doing here).  Anyway, hello to anyone that comes to see me and even though i'm sure that i won't have anything profound to say, I will give you my thoughts from time to time. 

This is you and me.  In this picture we are not climbing trees, playing reader rabbit, not making brusselspout soup.  We're not comparing who has the dirtiest feet at the end of our day and  I'm not pretending to be asleep so that you can carry me like "a sack of potatos".  Here, we are not looking for goose eggs or rowing the boat in the pond or climbing trees in the back yard(s).  You're not letting me shave your beard or pick cherries from the cherry tree and I'm not peeking in on blue bird eggs.   We're not catching chipmunks or snakes , and are not in the garden with those big pumpkins or whatever else we used to grow.  In this picutre here, we're not jumpin on furnature singing Oliver Twist songs, not flying in planes or yelling "right tago left tago" at people jumping out of them. We are not making snow men out of clay in this picture and we're not eating chinese food with chopsticks.  We're not doing a lot of things that we used to do in this picture... I'm not 5 or 6 or 10 anymore....  and that is sad to me sometimes too.  

This picutre is very different from the other picutres that we have of us and of me growing up. In this picture, you are celebrating my wedding day with me.  I got married this day... I have a husband now and those days of being so young and spending my day with you are long past now. this is sad to me too.  Just so you know, if anyone else were to walk me down the isle, I would have wanted it to be you.  I love you.  You are the best grampa in the world and i do miss those days too.

Aleesh

It's been so long since i've been here.  And so long since i wrote that last entry.  A lot of emotions have changed since then.  the frustration is gone and in it's place is acceptance.  either acceptance or i've just given up... either way, it's not in the front of my brain anymore. 

I'm happy.  we have a new little kitty now.  we got her last week and Bishi hates her... well, not so much anymore i guess... they went form Bishi hissing  at her and being a bully to chasing eachother around and swatting at one another... but at least Bishi isn't hissing anymore. right? 

well, see how it goes i guess.  they're both my little cuties now.  and LiLu is so sweet and cute... I hope she doesn't grow out of it

my husband is wonderful... the most beautiful and loving and amazing man i've ever known or could hope to know.  He's my angel and hope that keeps me going.  The though of him brings tears of love...i wanna snuggle in his chest ALL day. 

He is why i love the mornings.  and now with the warmth of the new season, we sleep on the sheets and kick the comforter off and leave the window open so we can feel the breeze stream in as we lay and sleep. 

He makes the mornings....  too comfortable.  i never want to get out of bed.

I too have a life!  You can't really just think that i can hold everything off just because things are difficult on your side.  i have things to do and things that need to get done.  i have a family, a husband, and myself.

i have refrickinsponsabilities... to myself, others and my husband and i'm really just about fed up right about now.  do whatever the hell it is you have to do so i can go on about my life like i've been wanting to do for the past few months.  argggg, let down.  whatever.  i have to go now because i have to work... a job that i hate!!!!!  and i hate mroe and more everyday.. but looks like i'm stuck here for several reason, one huge reason being cuz i keep being let down! 

I am patient, i am understanding, and i am always going to be loving... but how much amd i supposed to take without giving my frustration voice?  i'm just venting.  love you but i'm venting.